The third is down
and I am right,
I’m small, can’t hold
you see, don’t know, don’t care
shut up.
Just laugh, relax, the night
is young, and seems
to hold much. For the
haze lets me wonder, and
freely calls my me out.
But is it me? Follow
instincts and smell meat,
is it me? I don’t seem
to think that way. Not when
light shines.
Lucky liquor, the scene’s changed
and thoughts slip away. Lights
flash, up, down, and
my mind is gone
far away.
And the choking laughter,
giggles and chuckles,
closing down your chuggy throat
giving back, screaming out
for help.
That night, a blast my friend,
liquor the best, never fails!
Always waits, his warming freeing
haze, anxiously expecting,
to drink up another boy.
7 comments:
This is dope
Nice words
Great poem! Something about some of the choices for line breaks seemed to be a bit off in places to me though. For example, 'Just laugh, relax, the night/ is young...' - the choice of breaking the phrase 'the night is young' suggests a particular emphasis on the final two words, yet this feels almost coincidental as the end of the sentence is where the emphasis really lies. The phrase 'seems/to hold too much' is quite brilliant though!
You should submit something to Word-in-the-Eye.com. :)
Pretty sweet. Love the imagery. The word flow makes it seem like it's being said as the transformation is happening. Well done, sir! You are definitely one to follow.
LOVE IT! How vivid and alive! Oh my God... you are amazing!
Thank you for sharing!
Sincerely,
Skylar Smythe
The Guerilla Poetess (c) 2009
Toronto, Canada
Nicely done Sean Paul. Many know the experience.
This poem reminds me of a great night and then going out for tacos at 3am, stumbling back to the apartment. There were no worries and in those moments we had no jobs to do and no people think about but ourselves. Thanks for bringing up so many good memories.
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